Menopausal Monster Woman

Crumbs and hormones



I cleaned the kitchen and went to my home office to read. After less than 15 minutes, I felt like a nice cup of tea and walked into my kitchen to find it full of crumbs. It is no big deal, but the anger started to slowly build up from a slight agitation to a tsunami which I was not able to control.

My normal, non-menopausal self was watching me fly off the handle and trying desperately to reach this menopausal woman shouting at her husband like he had just tried to murder her.

Yes, both of them are me.

I used to be a relatively calm and collected woman who would get angry but would be able to control herself and who lost it very rarely. This new beast of a woman with serious anger issues was not the real me and I hoped she would go away quickly because she was not welcome in my head.

– What is this!? What is this mess!? How can you leave crumbs all over the place!?- I was yelling.

– But honey I put everything away just like I always do. — my husband tried to placate me.

– You call this putting everything away!!!??? — the monster woman screamed like he just set the house on fire.

– But Kitten they are only a few crumbs I didn’t see. Why are you making it out as such a big deal? — hubby is trying to downplay this enormous transgression that my hormonal brain saw as if a hurricane had just destroyed my clean kitchen.

– Don’t you dare call me Kitten when you do this kind of thing! — I screamed while processing what he just said.

Somehow, my normal self succeeded to reach the raging woman and I calmed her down a bit.

– Yes Ok, not a big deal but I just cleaned it. It was spotless. Why can’t you respect that and clean up after yourself? — Menopausal Monster Woman is still not ready to let it go, but her tone is down a notch.

– I don’t see them like you do, I mean the crumbs. I am sorry, but I still don’t think your reaction is appropriate. Calm down. — he makes the biggest mistake known to humankind — telling a woman soaked in rage to calm down!

– I am supposed to calm down! After I bust my ass off to keep this place clean, you tell me to calm down! It is like an endless loop; I clean and you guys mess everything up. Calm down he says! I will not calm down! ……- she started yelling again.

After she – the Menopausal Monster, (and only I can call her that!) calmed down and the normal me was back I feel ashamed and would love to erase the memory of that dragon lady from my husband’s mind.

On the other hand, I had to deal with his crumbs and dirty clothes most of my adult life, so he should learn how to deal with my menopausal hissy fits, as they are supposed to only last for a few years.

Dear hubby, now it is your turn to step up to the plate, crumbs and all.



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